Growing up i watched my mother doing cards readings countless times.
She mostly used tarots, but also had another deck, a french deck called "Sibylle".
I remember her friends dropping by for coffee and inevitably asking her if she would mind taking the cards out to look into a couple of issues....
If my dad was home, he would roll his eyes and just leave. I, in the other hand, would stay close enough to hear what was said and learn.
I felt a strong pull toward the cards, particularly Tarots, that i started reading about their meaning at a very young age.
My mother never directly tought me about them, on the contrary she always attempted to down play it, stating that it was just a game and none of it had any validity, yet people kept coming back.
I started mimicking her and give readings for my friends.
I never read for strangers until i moved to the US.
I was pushed to read professionally, and decide to give it a try. I did not feel very comfortable, to tell you the truth, and chose a neutral platform to start with.
I had an add on my web site: strangers would email me their questions and i would email them back the answer. Of course i would remain in pins and needles until a feedback would come, and luckily i got one every time except once.
It was a lady from Alaska, i remember it as if it was yesterday. Her reading was a little harsh, her guides were definitely letting her know that she had a few issues to work on. She finally did write back 6 months later stating that at first she had completely dismissed the reading, and that only now she understood how appropriate her message was.
Great confidence builder!
So i was pushed some more, there was some more ice to break.
So there I was, every weekend in the Spring and Summer of 2001, with my cardboard sign saying : "Free Reading!", sitting in a park bench in Central Park (i was living in New York city at the time).
I gave so many readings! I was loving it.
That experience really helped to let go and allow the information to flow. It did not matter if the "story" did not make any sense to me, it was obvious that it was making sense to the listeners, and i was getting immediate confirmation. I have learned to listen to my inner voice and verbalize it.
To this day i admit that i prefer to give readings by email, or at the very least to know as little as possible about the person i am reading for, so i do not have to work so hard in blocking off the superficial stuff, the misleading interference like body language, tone of voice, some time even the information is unnecessary and only brings confusion, blurring the fine line between the person's expectation and what actually is.
During the fall off the same year, i had a further revelation about my Central Park experiment. In most of the readings i had done i often, almost consistently, got a card that did not make any sense within the context of the reading, it seemed to be standing there disconnected from the rest of the spread, telling a story of it's own, speaking about unexpected emotional turmoil, about the feeling of the "rug being pulled from under ones feet", about a destruction and rebuilding that can not be foreseen, nor prevented, but only dealt with as it comes.
I can not find the words to describe how i felt, what i felt ,when i finally understood what that Tower card wanted to tell me, consistent in it's discrepancy, affecting the lives of so many people.
It really hit me like a punch: "Oh My God! It was 9/11!".
Elena B.
